


how to win over an oblivious idiot in seven and a half days - a guide by wang yibo

by seungyounbelievable (sysupportgroup)



Category: UNIQ (Band)
Genre: M/M, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 08:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4341185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sysupportgroup/pseuds/seungyounbelievable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>how to win over an oblivious idiot in seven and a half days - a guide by wang yibo</p><p>or alternately</p><p>how to matchmake two oblivious idiots in four days - an instruction manual by the most awesome guys in the universe, cho seungyeon and li wenhan</p>
            </blockquote>





	how to win over an oblivious idiot in seven and a half days - a guide by wang yibo

**Author's Note:**

> find me at u-n-i-fics.tumblr.com, @chahakyeoff on twitter and @u_n_i_fics on ask.fm <3

“it’s been three days,” wenhan hisses, jabbing a finger to the kitchen where yibo is hanging around sungjoo, trying to ‘help’ with the cooking. wenhan doesn’t really know how much help is needed for instant noodles though and he’s resigned himself to sneaking out for a hamburger later, “three days of really bad flirting. i can’t bear to watch anymore.”

 

“more like three and a half if you count the thing with the fan in the car on tuesday. anyways, it could be worse,” seungyeon shrugs uncaringly, tongue sticking out as he obnoxiously mashes the game controls, “like yours. now that’s bad flirting.” he bounces up in glee when he scores the first goal in the game, “whooooo! he shoots! he scoooores!”

 

wenhan scowls and pulls seungyeon back down onto the couch, dislodging the controller from his grip. seungyeon is about to protest loudly but wenhan pulls him in closer, flush along his side, and seungyeon’s objections dull down to a underlying grumble.

 

“we should help them,” wenhan decides firmly, “for both for their sake and ours.”

 

“oh come on - ”

 

wenhan jerks his head pointedly towards the kitchen, “just look.”

 

seungyeon cranes his head as subtly as he can (which is to say not at all) to peer into the kitchen. sungjoo’s bustling around, trying his hand at making dinner tonight - something about how he “can too make dishes other than ramen just wait and see”. yibo probably isn’t helping much though, seungyeon thinks dryly as he hears, “hyung, trust me. putting in more of this makes it taste nicer.” come out of the kitchen along with what is distinctly the smell of chilli powder.

 

lots and lots of chilli powder.

 

“okay,” sungjoo’s answer floats out cheerfully, “but what about wenhan - ”

 

“trust me, hyung. if he can’t eat it, i’ll eat it for him.”

 

“wow!” sungjoo actually sounds impressed by that and seungyeon can barely hold in his laughter at this point, his face turning a faint shade of purple. yibo’s strategy apparently, he realises, is to show him how much of a ‘man’ he is. he isn’t quite sure that withstanding a large amount of spice is really a manly thing though. in itself, it’s hilarious but a side glimpse of wenhan’s face - outraged and more than a little pissed though, ends up being his breaking point.

 

“looking forward to dinner,” he chokes out strangledly, making no effort to stop the disaster in progress whilst leaping off the couch before wenhan can get him in the ribs. covering his mouth with his hands, he dashes off to his room wherein he proceeds to laugh until over the entire situation to the point where he’s certain that his abs are more defined than they were forty minutes ago.

 

he ends up taking it all back though when the ramen ends up being too spicy for any of them - yibo included - and they end up drowning their mouths in endless glasses of milk.

* * *

 

in the end, wenhan ends up using seungyeon’s ‘abandonment’ against him - arguing some sort of obligation or other. seungyeon agrees -  half because wenhan is talking and not kissing him and half because he does actually feel a little bit of pity for wenhan.

 

only a little.

 

“so what’s the plan?” he throws out, hooking his chin over wenhan’s shoulder as they attempt to squish into wenhan’s bed. seungyeon gets to be the big spoon tonight, wrapped solidly around the other as wenhan insists on lying in his usual 45° position.

 

“well,” wenhan starts thoughtfully, “the first thing is that we get them together.”

 

“hyung,” seungyeon rolls his eyes and blows hot air against the nape of wenhan’s neck, “that’s not really a plan.”

 

wenhan laughs awkwardly, “i…don’t actually have one.”

 

seungyeon snorts and cuddles closer up against wenhan’s back, “see, this is why you need me, the supreme romance god,” he nods confidently and a little grin starts to form on his face, canines showing, “so here’s what we’ll do…”

* * *

 

_step one: get them in a cramped space together_

 

step one is going well at first. they manage to trap the two in the same closet and lock the door behind them. it all starts to fall apart though, when they start hearing banging from the inside.

 

the plan fails mostly due to someone not checking what was in the closet beforehand. so instead of confessions in the dark and intimate space sharing - they get a splintered closet door, a broken broom and a hole in the plaster of the closet’s back wall.

 

sungjoo bursts from the fray triumphantly, waving two separate pieces of broom in his hands that once used to be whole. yibo trails out after him, scowling fiercely with red on his cheeks that he blames on the heat in there to anyone listening before holing himself up in the room until the next meal.

 

_step one: fail_

* * *

 

_step two: send presents to sungjoo signed with yibo’s name_

 

the first problem comes when wenhan and seungyeon discover that they’re broke. it’s solved when yixuan has to buy the box of chocolates for them instead - bless their poor leader’s soul.

 

the second problem comes when wenhan accidentally leaves it on their balcony when they’re roped into a basketball-soccer fusion with everyone else downstairs. being summer, the chocolate proceeds to melt and upon the discovery of that, yixuan immediately plugs in his earphones and locks himself in his room.

 

well there goes their bank.

 

the third problem comes when seungyeon swipes some of the chocolate from the table and licks it - later proceeding to suffer stomach cramps for the rest of the day.

 

_step two: fail_

* * *

_step three: make sungjoo jealous_

 

it’s safe to say that they screw this one up and they’ll never repeat it again for as long as they shall live.

 

for one, sungjoo doesn’t seem to notice seungyeon hanging around and touching yibo more than usual - which is already a failure. but also, yibo doesn’t seem to notice that he wants sungjoo to notice and so, has been getting pissier and pissier with every level of touching that seungyeon plays up.

 

which makes seungyeon ramp things up even more (because he has no chill). so when seungyeon’s pretending to fix yibo’s hair and yibo gets distracted by a meow from outside, whipping his head around quickly, they accidentally kiss. in the living room. in view of everyone.

 

yibo is frozen at first when it happens but when he sees over seungyeon’s shoulder that sungjoo hasn’t taken any notice of it, happily continuing to talk to yixuan, he’s determined to milk it for all he can.

 

he leans in a little more towards seungyeon and tries to say as flirtily as he can, “at least i’m a good kisser right?” making sure sungjoo hears it.

 

and then things just turn awkward.

 

see, it’s mostly because sungjoo’s in hearing range that seungyeon practically screams at the top of his lungs, “you’re the best kisser i’ve ever kissed” because hey, it sends the message loud and clear that ‘woah, yibo is a fantastic boyfriend please date him’ to sungjoo which is good. 

 

…what’s not so good is that wenhan is in hearing range too. 

 

and he makes sure that they remain in hearing range when he leaves plum wine marks on seungyeon’s hips later between growls of, “mine” and muttering insistences that they’re never repeating this again.

 

_step three: fail_

* * *

_step four: give up_

 

apparently everything works on the day that seungyeon and wenhan decide to throw in the towel.

 

“it’s like the universe hates them. and us.” wenhan grouses, curling up into a ball on the couch and watching seungyeon play fifa for the fifth time today.

 

“i know,” seungyeon throws the controller moodily to the side when the other side scores a goal again, “i’ve run out of ideas too.”

 

“should we give up? i mean, we could get xuan ge to buy all of us earplugs and blindfolds so we don’t have to witness any pathetic attempts at flirting.”

 

“yeah,” seungyeon sighs despondently and lets his head fall back, “i think we’re just wasting our time. they’re never going to get together at this -”

 

“come on,” sungjoo jogs backwards into the living room and then straight into the kitchen, not even sparing them a glance as he drags yibo along. there’s a certain warmth in his tone - more than usual - and both of their grins are so wide and bright that seungyeon feels like squinting for effect. they’re closer than they’d normally be too, giggling and falling over each other as they exit out of sight.

 

wenhan bolts upwards, scarily in sync with seungyeon as they trade astonished looks and swivel their heads to the kitchen.

 

“is that - ”

 

“are they - ”

 

“xuan ge!” wenhan leaps up and hastily drags the just-entering-and-regretting-it eldest into a weird huddle formation on the couch with the game’s background music barely drowning out the whispers from the kitchen, “what’s going on with them?”

 

“who?”

 

“them!” seungyeon jabs repeatedly at the kitchen and winces as certain sounds start again. something tells him they’re not making dinner in there. “yibo and sungjoo hyung.”

 

“oh,” yixuan blinks slowly at them, “they’ve started dating.”

 

“since when?” wenhan is frankly insulted that they weren’t the first ones to know.

 

“um,” yixuan wrinkles his brow in an effort to remember, “since a few minutes ago, i think? they came stumbling out of yibo and seungyeon’s room holding hands and smiling like fools.” yixuan allows himself a contented smile, “it seems they finally talked it out. about time, i think.”

 

his expression darkens when he looks at them, frowning and sighing disappointedly, “this would have happened a lot sooner if the two of you didn’t insist on interfering over the last few days.”

 

“what interfering?” seungyeon projects loudly, winking none too subtly at yixuan and pressing a finger to his lips, “we didn’t interfere.”

 

“oh really?” yixuan raises an eyebrow and proceeds to count off on his fingers, disregarding his volume, “the closet business just made them shy around each other. the chocolate didn’t work out. the jealousy thing,” he snorts and breaks off in fond disbelief, “actually i’ll give you that one - sungjoo did come and and complain to me about that a fair bit. i think he realised how much he liked yibo then. but,” he shakes his head and pushes himself up from the couch, “really, your best plan was today’s.”

 

“but we didn’t do anything today - ”

 

“exactly.”

 

“…oh.”

 

_step four: complete_

 


End file.
